Anyway, enjoy the dbag article from last months Rare Magazine:
My absolute goal here today is to talk to those of you who are young men in your twenties. I work with a lot of young women and they came to me and asked if I could do something about all the men in their twenties. They can’t stand them because they claim they all act like total douche bags. I completely understand why they date men in their thirties. Young men in your twenties, you ARE acting like total douche bags! Stop it right now. It’s absolutely out of control.
What has happened in recent years. I promised them I would do my part to try to get the word out. Douchism is very similar to narcissism, but with more cheeseball flair. Sometimes even being “cocky” is acceptable, if you can back it up, but being a DB is uncalled for and you do not impress anyone. Let me fill you in on what a douche bag is and you can decipher for yourself if you ARE one.
Pop quiz number 2.
n.: a bad situation.
“Looks like we may have a shituation on our hands, I don’t know either of those door guys”
Term used to ridicule a woman with a less than fit posterior.
“She shouldn’t even try to squeeze into 7’s sportin a bag o’ beagles like that.”
To engage in dirty talk with ones partner via text message.
“Hold on dog, go on outside to smoke without me, I’m in mid textual relations with that baby from earlier tonight.”
This is what most DB’s call their job. It’s an excuse for why they work at a kiosk. Just a day job, a cover for saving the planet.
“Selling gyro-copters at the mall is just my Clark Kent job, me and my boys are working on building one of the skyscraper condo deals.”
Someone who asks many stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions. Most DB’s are askholes themselves, but don’t know it.
“Who you callin askhole, askhole?”
Some poor girl mistakenly gave a DB her number and he starts texting her that same night. This is the lag time between the DB asking if he can come over and her response.
“I’m throwin it out there to meet her at an after hours party, but my textpectations tell me she’ll reply to just come over to my place to break of a piece o’ me.”
And as for you twenty something chicks, I hold you partially responsible for this mess we are in today. If you would stop talking to these guys and giving them your phone numbers, this would all go away and you wouldn’t have to pull and Anna Nicole and date 90 year old men.