Grab the July issue out today. I wrote about Douchebag guys in their 20's. I originally titled it "ode to Bobby Bones". I think you will see why when you read the issue.
Here is what I wrote for the June Austin Neighborhoods issue:
Am I cool enough to live in my own city?
I am going to attempt something that is probably going to upset a lot of people. I am going to attempt to rank
There are many surveys out there that rank neighborhoods on crime, schools, parks, levels of educations, etc… Not me. I’m going for pure hipness. I’m not saying I’m the most in vogue, trendsetter this town has to offer, but I know it when I see it. I love this city and I’m offering my time and knowledge to rank Austin Coolest neighborhoods for you.
Everyone that lives in
When I was in college, I rented in
I love so many things about
This gets my strongest bid for folks who love location. Everything in this area seems packed in and there are cars everywhere. Either everyone owns about 5 cars apiece or every one of them has offered to house a starving musician…and his van. I get frustrated with Texans for opting for pure square footage. It’s an ego trip or something. This area is the antithesis of that. They are willing to give up space for location. This is one of the few areas not being torn to the ground for a rebuild… and they are not afraid to use outrageous exterior colors or cement bicycles or armadillos to the side of their house. Because of the UT housing in close proximity, you kids might come home speaking Chinese or Russian. Diversity at it’s best.
This neighborhood is great if you can tolerate all the political unrest. If only Bob Marley was here to get new and old to shake hands. I’ve learned to appreciate the naturalscape and applaud their efforts to keep it a place that could burst into flames at any moment. I love how the deer just stand there and stare at you as if to say “Go ahead, I’m gonna eff up your Cayenne S and my life sucks anyway…I’d flip you off but I got a damn hoof”. This neighborhood gets props for being more liberal, interesting and eclectic than anyone realizes. Too bad none of the neighbors come within 100 ft of each other.
The ONLY thing stopping this neighborhood from numero uno is location and the fact they have to use Mopac to get anywhere. I’m a sucker for well built cool architecture from the 50’s and 60’s and there are some real gems in this hood. I love the mix of young families with bikes, trikes and tree swings in the yard, next to memaw and peepaw making a run to the dumpster with the dirty Depends. It’s one of the least pretentious neighborhoods in the city and I love that so many of them are preserving some of the old school integrity in their homes, although I’ve seen some of my favorite mid-century homes get bulldozed to the ground in a day. Shame on you!
When I bought my last house, Barton
When I first moved to
This area just oozes cool. They are in for trouble though. The home prices and new modern homes are going to bring in a ton of people who “think they are cool” and they are going to dork it all up. The art to living in this neighborhood the right way is spending as little as you can on; cars, landscaping, personal hygiene, haircuts, or clothing. If you are going to spend money, spend it on; music fests, piercings, tats, hemp clothing and Eastern medicine. No one in Bouldin works for the
I have always wanted to live in this neighborhood but I’m afraid I would never fit in since I don’t have a Kiln. It’s very popular to be a white person with dreadlocks and to look as if you are heading to or from a Renaissance festival. Congratulations on spending more annually on the health of your trees than on yourself. There’s a difference between being “Cool” to attract attention or just “Being Cool”.