Friday, February 29, 2008

Bud Light commercial that was supposedly made for this year's Super Bowl, but never aired .

New Movie Trailers

Here are two new movie trailers to check out. The first one is "The Love Guru", starring Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake and Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer. It'll be in theaters June 20th.

--The second one is "Step Brothers", starring Will Ferrell as that same character he always plays . . . and John C. Reilly as his stepbrother. (--Here are the links . . .)

Video of Prince Harry in Afghanistan

Thursday, February 28, 2008

By popular demand. Here is a pic of Cecily

Cecily on the show

Cecily on the show

Listen to the crowd go nuts when this senior citizen dance troupe busts into Soulja Boy

Mayor of Arlington, Oregon was fired from her job for this picture that was on myspace. Ridiculous


Feb Article I wrote for Rare Magazine. Junior High Love

Article I wrote for Rare Magazine. Junior High Love

1980 I was a mad lover. I had some serious game. I had sweet Scott Baio feathered hair, apparently some wicked pick up lines, and four different ho’s in four different area codes. That’s right. I had managed to land four different babes in completely different parts of the country. Too bad I was thirteen at the time, finding love for the first time and lacking the appreciation to take in these finer moments. This was the year that John Lennon was shot, Ronald Reagan was elected President and people were flocking to the theaters to see The Elephant Man. I was clueless about these significant things, just as I was unschooled in the ways of love. It was a magical time, when love was truly pure and simple, never complicated and always optimistic. Looking back I’m amazed at how resilient a young teenager can be through love and heartbreak. Was the heart built to bounce back easily and we have made the process complicated. Maybe we were designed to handle found and lost love much more easily and too much talk, movies and daytime tv has made it more difficult. Perhaps we’re over thinking it. You decide. Let me recap 1980 for you.

Ho 1. 912 Savannah, Georgia. Susan.

This was no doubt the first girl that I fell for because of her brain. Sure I was shallow in my pre-teen years and went for petite blonds, but I outgrew that and matured at 13. Susan was smart, always had the answer in class and seemed to be a shining favorite of our teacher. She was a role model student at Myers Middle School. It was my first year with this group of kids, I didn’t really fit in with the “old south”. I was still a daydreamer, punk Kansas kid. It only took a few months to call Susan mine. I did it the way any crafty, puberty stricken kid with girls on the brain would have done it, through her friend. I don’t know if Libby and I were truly friends or I was just using her to get to Susan, but it worked. It was just a few dropped hints to Libby and some prowess at The Presidential Test on Physical Fitness and Susan was mine. Perhaps she was impressed that I had memorized “Rappers Delight”, the long version… I’m not sure. I enjoyed the time we spent together playing Four Square on the playground and exchanging glances during choir, but it all came crashing down one fateful day. I had skateboarded over to Susan’s house, as I often did, only to be met at the back door by Libby. I knew immediately something wasn’t right. Libby asked me to “hold a minute” as I stood in the middle of the lawn. Moments later, she opened the door, tossed my “Jeff” bracelet out onto the lawn and said that Susan didn’t want “go with me” anymore. After sifting through the tall zoysia for a good 15 minutes, I grabbed my skateboard, threw on my giant radio headphones and started skating home. I’ll never forget. “Please Don’t Go” by KC and the Sunshine band came on the radio. I started to cry… then it started pouring rain and I really started to cry. It was hard to say goodbye to the first girl you cared about beyond her appearance. I wonder how successful she became, does she still rub her wrist where the bracelet used to be and feel and “empty space”? Was this all just bad karma for using Libby? I’ll never know. A few weeks later we moved.

Ho 2. 713 Spring Branch, Texas. Lisa.

Having a relationship with Lisa was the best and worst thing that could have happened to me that year. I was a shy new kid in a booming suburb of Houston. Keep in mind, the TV show Dallas was just hitting it’s stride and anyone and everyone at my new school seemed like they had money, wealth and power. I looked ordinary in my rolled up no name jeans, sporting nautical themed clothing that made sense on the Ga. Coast, but not in Houston. The class sizes at this school where over 60 students+ and I felt lost. Everyone looked pretty and seemed dialed into the prosperities of the time. I barely remember talking to Lisa, but one glorious day her friend passed me a note asking me if I wanted to be Lisa’s boyfriend. I played it cool as she was watching me read it, then slowly and smoothly reached behind my ear for my number two pencil to check YES, folded it up into a tight triangle and flicked it perfectly back. All of the sudden, I was somebody and this school. Everyone was a stranger, but they were very forward in asking about my relationship with Lisa. What had I just done? I really thought about it… and Lisa… and realized I was in over my head. Lisa was the epitome of an extra right off of the tv show Dallas. She looked like part with long, wavy blonde hair, extremely glossy mirror like lips and fur, fur, fur. Just like any good Houstonian, she wore fur every day, regardless of the weather. I was so intimidated by her Hollywood glam look, I used to walk home as quickly as possible, pretending not to see her, because I didn’t know what to say or how to act around her and her cover girl friends. I broke it off, soon after, with a note, through a new friend. I felt stupid and humiliated, because she seemed so grown up and I still liked after school specials. Luckily, about 2 months after my Houston arrival, it was time to go spend the summer with my dad.

Ho. 3 913 Kansas City, Missouri. Mia

It was odd building summer relationships. That’s all they were. I lived somewhere else all year and for two months of very summer I would live with my dad. The best thing that can happen to a young man with raging hormones is to have sisters. I have three sisters and they brought around plenty of girls for me to harass. Just like any pervy younger brother, I would lurk around, flirt with their friends and wait in the weeds for a weak one to wander off from the herd. There was no alcohol involved in breaking down a woman’s resistance like later in life, so then the only means of breaking their resistance was pure exhaustion. After an evening of playing neighborhood “Kick the Can”, Mia’s energy was low from running and hiding all evening. I got her to settle down with me in the back yard hammock, hold hands and eventually kiss. I was always a gentleman and not one to kiss and tell, but let’s just say it went farther than a 13 year old should. I didn’t go all the way but it was hot enough to make me look like I was smugglin Twinkies in my shorts. We acted like nothing ever happened after that night and never revisited it on future summer visits. It was probably because I REALLY cared about her and knew I would be leaving any day, just as I did every summer. What a great summer, got to meet George Brett the very same year they finally topped the Yankees and win American League… and she “touched it”. Wow.

Ho. 4. 512 Georgetown, Tx. Laura

As I returned to school in the fall, my mother had moved…again. This was my fourth place to live in 7th grade. I’ll never forget that day I first got off the bus. I was the new kid…again. There she was. The first girl I saw on my first day at the new school. It was cheerleader tryouts for the next year, so the current cheerleaders wore their uniforms. She had her hair up in pigtails, blue and white streamers hanging down and a cast on broken arm the she had taken the time to decorate in blue and white. I was smitten and remember having the movie moment conversation with myself thinking, “she will be mine…oh yes, she will be mine”. I must have been pretty smooth in penny loafers and pastels. I was just brave enough to flip up my collar but didn’t do it with confidence. It was the year before I got my braces so the kids quickly gave the name “Bucky” to the new guy. That’s o.k., because within no time at all I was going steady with Laura. It didn’t mean much. I don’t think we even had lunch together, cliques were starting to form so we would hang out with our respective friends. I made friends quickly with an endorsement from Laura. I lacked the maturity to have a meaningful relationship. I’m sure I thought I would be in another school by the time 8th. grade started, so I probably subconsciously kept my distance. I recall many birthday parties we attended that year. Laura and I would sit and wait for Journey to play. We’d head to the dance floor to show that we were a couple. The hormones, Dr. Peppers and pixie sticks from the snack bar would possess me and kill my ability to control myself during a slow dance to “Open Arms”. I’m sure I thought “air-humping” was a smooth move. Before I knew it, I’d have a chaperone tapping me on the shoulder. She soon dumped me for “moving to fast”. Hey, at least there was a reason and an explanation. That was the first and last time I was ever given a reason, so I owe her that debt of gratitude.

Sweet junior high love. I miss those days. These relationships were all fleeting, precious, and wonderful. I doubt any one of these girls could recall my name or photo, but somehow they kept me afloat and helped me survive 4 moves in one year. Truth be told, I was just scared to death and awkward, just like everybody else. Maybe my lessons learned from that year might be helpful to someone out there, single and wondering what’s next for them.

I’m approaching 10 years of marriage. I found the smart one. I again had that “she will be mine moment”. She’s helped a painfully shy guy be accepted into a new world over and over. The best part of being married is that I won’t ever get the “moving too fast” lecture.” But “Too often” …that’s another thing.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


You all keep emailing, asking what the doctor prescribed drug my
sister is using. It's called adipex. You have to get it from your
doctor. She is also doing b12 shots.

Sent from my iPhone

Firefighters chasing a runaway hose

Firefighters Struggle With Runaway Hose - Watch more free videos

Gary Busey again

Watch how hard Gary is on this 11 year old girl trying to get an interview.

T.R. Night from Grey's. He's 34, his new boyfriend is a freshman in college

Diablo Cody from back when she was a stipper, before wining an Oscar for Juno

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

In case you have no idea what your kids are texting, you might want to learn these

Top 50 Most Commonly Used Text Terms:

--2moro - Tomorrow
--2nite - Tonight
--BRB - Be Right Back
--BTW - By The Way
--B4N - Bye For Now
--BCNU - Be Seeing You
--BFF - Best Friends Forever
--CYA - Cover Your Ass
--DBEYR - Don't Believe Everything You Read
--DILLIGAS - Do I Look Like I Give A Sh**
--FUD - Uncertainty, and Disinformation
--FWIW - For What It's Worth
--GR8 - Great
--ILY - I Love You
--IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
--IRL - In Real Life
--ISO - In Search Of
--J/K - Just Kidding
--L8R - Later
--LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off
--LOL - Laughing Out Loud . . . or . . . Lots Of Love
--LYLAS - Love You Like A Sister
--MHOTY - My Hat's Off To You
--NIMBY - Not In My Back Yard
--NP - No Problem
--NUB - New person
--OIC - Oh, I See
--OMG - Oh My God
--OT - Off Topic
--POV - Point Of View
--RBTL - Read Between The Lines
--ROTFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
--RT - Real Time
--RTM - Read The Manual
--SH - Sh** Happens
--SITD - Still In The Dark
--SOL - Sh** Out of Luck
--STBY - Sucks To Be You
--SWAK - Sealed With A Kiss
--TFH - Thread From Hell
--THX - Thanks
--TLC - Tender Loving Care
--TMI - Too Much Information
--TTYL - Talk To You Later
--TYVM - Thank You Very Much
--VBG - Very Big Grin
--WEG - Wicked Evil Grin
--WTF - What The F***
--WYWH - Wish You Were Here
--XOXO - Hugs and Kisses

Punky brewster pregnant how this girl breaks up with her boyfriend

Dont Cheat On This Girl - Watch more free videos

Kid drops an F Bomb on Jeopardy

Monday, February 25, 2008


One of my goals for the year is to finish or get rid of projects. I am
now trying to finish this '64 willy's. When I say finish, I mean just
make everything work well. Don't want it to be too pretty. Will have
it on the road soon.

Star wars according to a 3 year old

Disney drawings that may have been drawn by Hitler


William Hakvaag, a war museum director in Norway, recently paid $300 for a painting at an art auction in Germany. When he got the painting home, he discovered something hidden behind it . . .

--There were three color drawings of Disney characters: Bashful and Doc from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" . . . and one of Pinocchio. What makes these drawings so unique is that they were supposedly sketched by . . . ADOLF HITLER.

--See . . . the painting that William bought was signed "A. Hitler". The Bashful and Doc paintings that were hidden inside it are signed "A. H." . . . and the handwriting matches Hitler's. (--The Pinocchio painting wasn't signed.)

--Two other things to keep in mind: Hitler was actually an artist before he became a dictator bent on conquering Europe and eliminating the Jews. And he apparently loved "Snow White" so much that he would often watch the movie in his own private theater.

--Tests of the paper date the drawings to 1940 . . . which means Hitler may have actually drawn these in the middle of the carnage of World War Two. (Reuters / Telegraph)

SNL Urigro parody commercial

check out Journey with the new lead singer they found on youtube, true story...

Jimmy Kimmels Ben Affleck Response to Matt and Sarah

Lindsay falls down

Angelina pregnancy rumors, you decide

When Busey attacks

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Gold cart drivin

My daughter had a blast out at a friends driving his golf cart. I told
her "you're getting good". Her response was " I am good!"

Not happy

Funny how racing is no fun when your not prepared. :)
Got killed this weekend. Lots of work to do.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Title office

Stuck waiting to get a title and plates for my 64 jeep. I need to quit
buying things without titles. Pain in the butt.
Place is packed with early voters.
Wish I would have loaded Lost on my phone. I'm three episodes behind
Need to go rid my bike. I'm going to get killed at my races this
weekend. Bummer.

From the winter issue of Austin Monthly Home

Here is an article I wrote that just ran in the winter issue of Austin Monthly Home:

I am admittedly not the biggest socialite in the world. I tend to shy away from big parties and club events, but I do love to go into peoples homes. It’s brave of people to invite friends and acquaintances in their home. Secretly they are being judged on so many things; beauty, taste, art, interest, cleanliness. Why would you want to subject yourself to such scrutiny? If you’re starting to feel a little relaxed in your life, a little normal, I have just the recipe to shake all that up and send you into a tailspin. Throw a party at your home.

Like I said, I’m not much of a party person. My wife on the other hand, loves a party, but has an absolutely freak out anxiety attack leading up to one at our house. It’s a very legitimate reason to get nervous. We live by a pretty simple motto, “she’s freaking out, I’m freaking out. I’m freaking out, our daughter is freaking out, my daughter is freaking out, the dog starts spinning in circles and eating all the fur off her tail.” We have all this embroidered on a pillow somewhere.

Nothing makes a woman freak out like the pressures of hosting a party and letting all of her friends and peers see, sniff and feel her house. The pressures of acquaintances seeing where we eat, sleeps and bathe can be overwhelming. Guys on the other hand, we just figure “fire up the big screen, throw a cheese ball on the table and the rest will sort itself out.” Unfortunately, for adults, entertaining is not summed up with a plasma screen and wadded cheese. We have to rise to the occasion and host a party. That means that in the final days leading up to your party you will have to hunker down and finish about 3 years worth of projects in your spare time.

Here’s what to expect:

She is going to ask you to do every project outside the house that you never wanted to do. Clean the roof and gutters, trim the bushes, mow, edge and pressure wash everything you own. Be careful with the pressure washer. I busted ours out before our last party and took the paint of the front door and the hair off our dog. After you spend a backbreaking day or two bringing your lawn and trees up to par, expect to spend the day of the party strategically place citronella every two feet. You will spend your most recent paycheck in it’s entirety on tiki torches. Women love these, they think that it can make our raggedy back yard look like a Hawaiian retreat. Regardless of how much toxic citronella your guests breathe in, they are all still going to be swatting at mosquitoes all night and reaching for the bug spray. Have plenty on hand. Men, you should expect to have 4-6 major cuts and bruises, and handful of bee stings and you will most likely fall off the roof at least once in your party preparation. You’ll spend a fortune at Home Depot and make at least a dozen trips in the final 48 hours. The man’s job is also to do something with the pets. Heaven forbid, you are entertaining and people find out you have a pet. Most likely, you just don’t want your guests to see how unruly your pet is when human food is out on the table. The animals have to go somewhere, she doesn’t care where, just get them out of the house. Approximately 24 to 12 hours prior the party, you will make one of your trips to the Depot to buy about $500 worth of plants. Your job as the man is to get them into all the pots where the dead plants have been for the last three years.

You have handled your outdoor duties well gentlemen. She will handle the indoor duties. I hate to stereotype, but this is what happens. She will appear very busy, but most of the heavy lifting was handled when she lined up a housekeeping service to come the morning of the party and all the food was catered. She will make a big production out of “having to pick up the food”. I’m not trying to discredit it, walking from a restaurant to the car and then from the car to the house is not easy. It takes patience and a large SUV.

Here are some other final details that will need to be taken care of in the Final Hour. Candles, candles, candles. We want our friends to think we have invested in Wicks & Sticks and that our house always smells like Enchanting Patchouli.

You will be expected to put out reading materials that make you look smarter and more interesting, Time, The New Yorker, The Economist… and you will remove what you really read, People, Cosmo, Guns and Ammo.

You are going to fire up the stove that you haven’t used years and it’s going to fill the house with smoke burning off the last thing you tried to cook during The Clinton Administration.

You’ll select music that you don’t really like, Jazz, Easy Listening or heaven forbid, the Atmosphere Station, so you look smart.

Take a picture of your kids room because it will never look that nice until the next party.

Fresh flowers will need to go out and we’ll play it off as if we ALWAYS have fresh flowers just lying around.

Your friends will call in the final hour asking if you need anything, but they really don’t expect you to say yes, although you will ask one of them to stop for ice.

She will be telling you to hurry up since it’s time for the guests to arrive. You’ll shower and shave in 5 minutes just to prove that you would be ready on time. Then you will promptly get chastised for getting water everywhere and messing up the “good” towels.

Expect your least favorite couple to show up on time and an hour and a half before everyone else.

As your guests start to arrive two things will be going on simultaneously. You and your spouse will be bickering and pursing your lips and saying things like “I knew this was a bad idea” or “This is the last time we are doing this”. The comforting thing is that a similar thing is going on outside your front door just before each couple arrives. I’ve always had the theory that all couples fight on the way to a party and have some last minute squabbling right up until they ring the doorbell. “I told you I didn’t want to come to this and what did you do, you went right ahead !@$# and then you #!** and (ding dong)… Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, so good to see you… and your house looks looooooooooooovely and it smells wooooooooonderful!”

Poor Mans Guide from January Rare Magazine

This is an article I wrote for the January issue of Rare Magazine

I think Austin is an exceptionally competitive town when it comes to taking care of your mind and body. Everyone I meet seems highly educated, looks a decade younger than they are and are into competitive sports until they are grandparents. I think we will all feel inadequate as long as Willy is still touring and the DeJorias (Paul Mitchell) look 25. The pressure of keep up is awe-inspiring and not cheap.

I’ve managed to afford enough mind and body pampering to make myself functional and almost presentable. I’m basically a KIA or a Saturn, I can get from point A to B on a day to day basis, but not really doing it in STYLE, like everyone else, the Lexus and Mercedes of the world.

So, I am here to offer to you the Poor Man’s Guide to mind and body:

The simplest, easiest step is to give up everything that tastes good or gives you a buzz. Not to mention, had I done this twenty years ago, I’d be able to retire by now. Life won’t be as fun, but giving up sweets and booze will fix 90% of your health problems, which explains my lack fortitude.

There’s been a large push for not only organic vegetables, but also to buy within 100 miles to minimalize your carbon footprint. Earthy people crack me up with this concept as if it’s something new. My family is all from Kansas. They all grew their own vegetables in their backyard. Always have. “Need a tomato? I’ll be right back…” My relatives, within the parking space of your Escalade, grew potatoes, carrots, spinach, lettuce, onions, you name it. The seeds will set you back less than $5 a year for each type of veggie you want. Grab a shovel and get after it.

They say you need 8 hours of sleep a night to be healthy. I don’t know about you, but it’s more like 5 hours with a quick glance at the clock every hour. Do you remember when you were young, broke and just getting started? You slept like a baby on your old twin mattress that you took from home when you left for college. Sometimes you didn’t even need a mattress. Recall being grateful to find a spot on the floor in Padre during Spring Break?

So here we are older, wiser and wealthier, yet we can’t sleep. We’re throwing down thousands of dollars for Posturpedic, Memory Foam, Intellibed, Sleep Number, or Tempur-pedic not to mention those of us on a daily dose of Ambien (the night binge medicine) or Lunesta (for those of us who need a butterfly to land on on our nose before we can go to sleep). Here’s my theory on the sleep problem. Save your money on the bed.

The only reason we can’t sleep is because we have accumulated too much stuff. We can’t sleep because we are afraid our “stuff” is going to go away. We’re over extended and can’t keep up. Get rid of the stuff and you’ll snooze like a bum on a park bench.

The absolute best, FREE thing you can do for your mind and body is SEX. Some studies have shown that it helps with:

-Sense of smell
- Heart disease
- Weight loss, overall fitness
- Depression

- Pain-relief

- Less-frequent colds and flu

- A happier prostate

…and the best part, it truly is FREE. This is no doubt the best free thing in life. You just have to go get it. Married women can have it whenever they want. Single women, on the other hand… can have it whenever they want too.

It’s up to us guys to fight for our health… and our survival. For married guys I would say that a shopping spree or a day at the spa would put her in the mood, but this is the Poor Mans guide. That only leaves one alternative. Lie about her appearance. I’m not saying I do this. My wife is beautiful but in the event that your wife is not what she used to be… LIE. “Are you losing weight dear?” “Your jeans are looking loose princess”. Here’s what you need to do…. Massage her. I know, it sucks, it’s distracting, it’s time consuming, but you have to do it. Don’t bitch about it while you do it and don’t touch any of her “fun parts”, just do it.

This leaves the single guy…my single brothers of the world. Don’t panic. I have the most foolproof, time tested method for you to score as often as needed, especially in the name of your well-being.. What you do is… go to a mediocre hotel bar, not a Four Seasons or anything, but not a La Quinta. Somewhere right in the middle. Hit the hotel bar about 9pm, play it cool and wait in the weeds like a Tiger. Casually observe. Watch for the prey. You spot the ladies that are bellied up the red vested bar tender and mark a few of them. Wait patiently for the DJ to play “Strokin” by Clarence Carter. You don’t need to request it or anything. There’s something about hotel DJ’s. They will play it. Then, the first woman you see to hit the dance floor. That’s your target. Those are the hot and bothered single moms that never get out. They can’t control themselves. Their hips start gyrating and hip thrusting uncontrollably before they ever get to the center of the floor. She will most likely bring her drink with her onto the dance floor. If all these stars align; mediocre hotel bar, “Strokin”, first on dance floor, air humping, drink in hand… she is ready. Congratulations single guy. Repeat this process until your health improves.

Here’s some more quick hit money savers for your good clean living:

Want endermology to get rid of that cellulite? Take your pants off, lay on the ground and let your kids run their matchbox cars all over your ass for an hour.

Need Liposuction, Botox, Rystaline or a face lift? Here’s a cheaper alternative. Have sex with the lights off. No one will care!

Would you like a colonic? Sit on a Dasani and do some cartwheels.

Healing crystals. Set your “Dark Side of the Moon” cd on your head.

A lot of people I know are getting endoscopies, voluntarily! Have you priced one of these? All I’m going to say is… I have a very small camera phone with an unlimited data plan. We can “get er done”.

Feel the need to go to a juice bar on a daily basis? Here’s an orange. Need a wheat grass shot? There’s a lawn, have at it.

Thought about Microderm Abrasion? Comb your face and then run the vacuum with attachments over your face. Same thing.

Hypnosis- didn’t you watch movies in the 50’s? Whip out your grandfathers timepiece, wave it back and forth and find out everything you need to know.

Lip enhancement. Take up boxing.

Forgive me for wrapping this up. I have to go swing from some monkey bars. My chakras are out of alignment and my guru wanted 90 bucks an hour.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Digitz can't take the smell of our office after the show.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Want to buy Saddam Hussein's old Yacht?

Back in 1981, SADDAM HUSSEIN decided that as a maniacal dictator on the world stage, he needed a sweet yacht. So he had a HUGE one built.

--Only problem was, Iraq was at war with Iran at the time, so Saddam moved the yacht to the safety of a port in Saudi Arabia . . . and never actually used it himself.

--Recently, the yacht was moved from Saudi Arabia to the French Riviera by a private party which claims it owns it. And . . . they're hoping to sell it for $35 million.

--But the rightful ownership of the yacht isn't that clear cut. In fact, the "owners" are hiding behind a shell company set up in the Cayman Islands and refuse to be identified. Meanwhile, the Iraqi government says THEY own it.

--At any rate . . . when they get this mess sorted out . . . the yacht will go up for sale to the type of people who have $35 million to blow on a boat. And here's what you get for that $35 million. The yacht is 269-feet, with:

--10 rooms, some with big-screen TVs.

--Pools and saunas.

--Gold plumbing.

--A portable helicopter pad.

--A rocket launcher.

--And the best part . . . a mini-SUBMARINE that you can use to escape from the yacht if you ever need to.

--And even though $35 million SOUNDS like a lot, it's actually a pretty good deal. There are only about 30 boats in existence that are as big as Saddam's or bigger . . . and if you were to custom build the same yacht today, it would cost $150 million. (ABC News)

Want to feel better about yourself?

Check out celebrities without their makeup. Click here.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

My daughters Valentines gift

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My valentines gift

How sweet is this. My wife gave me a "Tower of Beer" for Valentines. What a great gift!

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Hottest chick from the 80's

Somehow we got talking about Kajagoogoo today. I swear...the chick in this video (not lead singer Lamahl) is the hottest 80's chick ever!

Monday, February 11, 2008

more pics of the house I rented

Doesn't this look amazing and peaceful? These pics don't do it justice. This is the house we rented in Palm Springs for the 100 mi ride. jb
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Moorten Botanical Garden

These pictures don't do it justice. My friend Rick's family started this amazing desert Botanical Garden back in the beginnings of Palm Springs. It's amazing because you can just walk around the place. It's more like a museum than at nursery. What an incredible, historic place and interesting family.
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Kaufman house

Sorry, but this is about as close as I could get without being arrested. This is the Kaufman House in Palm Springs. This is about as good as it gets. jb
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Friday, February 8, 2008

House in palm spring

Here's the very cool mid century house we rented. I love this place.
This style of home would be a dream house for me.

Perfect morning

...and I'm too hungover to enjoy it. Ouch!


Day one of by gaycation. Hanging with Rick in Palm Springs. Shooting
the shit about radio. House we renting is very cool. More pics soon

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Here's little miss "I'm not sure if I want the traffic and weather job"

Sandy has been taking anti aging supplements

The Spears restraining order against Sam Lutfi

I, Lynne Spears, declare:

I am the mother of Britney Spears (“Britney”)., who is the subject of this action. I have personal knowledge of each of the facts set forth in this Declaration, and can testify completely thereto, except as this matters stated on information and belief, and as to such matters I believe them to be true.

This past Monday night (Jan. 28), Britney’s father, Jamie, and I (in separate cars) went to Britney’s house in Beverly Hills because we had heard news reports that Britney had just been in a big fight with Sam Lufti aka Sam Lufti (“sam”), the man who has inserted himself into my daughter’s life, home and finances, and that she was crying. We were very concerned about her safety. We arrived at the Summit Community gatehouse in BHPO at approximately 10 p.m. I was with my friend Jackie.

The guards at the gatehouse stopped us there for awhile. Jackie, Jamie and I finally proceeded to Britney’s house and entered it. We were able to enter the house because it was not locked. Britney does not lock her doors and currently there are no security guards around her residence. Britney was not home. We found Sam, and sam said as we walked in the door that Britney only wanted me to come to the house, and that she was afraid to see her dad.

Two or three paparazzi came into the house and entered the kitchen. They greeted Sam. The paparazzi then reported to Sam where Britney currently was. From the conversation between Sam and the paparazzi I determined that sam had given Felipe (another paparazzi) one of Britney’s cars to get her out of the house when he heard that Jamie and I were on our way to see Britney. I also understood from the conversation that Sam disabled all of Britney's cars. (she has several at her residence.)

Sam had told Britney that Jamie and I were coming to the house to do an intervention, and that Britney panicked and took off with Felipe. Another man named Chad Hardcastle was in the house.

I also heard the evening that Britney’s and Sam’s fight that evening, Sam had told Britney that she was an unfit mother, a piece of trash and a whore, that she cares more about Adnan, her current boyfriend, than she cares about her kids, and that she does not deserve her kids.

The paparazzi reported to Sam and addressed him with great respect. They treated him like a general. He instructed them to get her back to the house. They later told Sam that Britney was on her way back.

Britney then came back to the house with Adnan, who is also a paparazzi. Sam then told Jackie that we needed to do whatever he tells us. I objected. He then told me, “I’m the one who spends 24/7 with your daughter. I sleep in cars outside her house so she can’t leave.” Sam then said, “You people throw everyone under the bus, if you don’t listen to me I’m going to make your name sh** in the papers.”

As I looked around the kitchen, I noticed that in the middle of the kitchen table there was a large car battery. At some point during the evening I learned that the car battery was there so Sam could charge his cell phone. Although Britney has several cell phones, he told us that he had disposed of all of the phone chargers and had made the house phones unworkable.

Sam told Jackie and me to tell ADnan to leave Britney alone and to get the F*** out of the house. Jackie refused. Sam then said to tell Britney that Adnan is gay. Adnan stayed at the house a little longer. Sam quietly said something to Adnan and Adnan promptly left the house.

Britney came into the room looking for Adnan. Sam told her that Adnan was in the bathroom. Britney then asked me, “Is Adnan gay?” While Britney was out of earshot, Sam told Jackie and me that we should pretend that Adnan was in the bathroom so Britney wouldn’t leave.

Britney then became very agitated and could not stop moving. She cleaned the house. She changed her clothes many times. She also changed her three dogs’ clothes many times. Britney spoke to me in a tone and with the level of understanding of a very young girl. Britney then picked up a bottle of pill sand read part of the label and asked us, “What does insomnia mean?” Sam told her that the pills will help her stay awake.

Sam told Jackie and me that he grinds up Britney’s pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdol and Seroquel. He told us that he puts them in her food that that was the reason she had been quiet for the last three days (she had been sleeping.) He told us that the doctor who is treating her now is trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could then give her drugs to heal her brain.

Sam then encouraged us to sit down on a sofa and do “tequila shots.” Jackie and I said we did not want to. Britney seemed to follow our lead. Sam then got some wine out and said, “Let’s all do toasts with wine.” Britney said that she didn’t want to, she wanted a pretty glass. Sam found a glass with a stem and poured wine for Britney when we were not looking. Britney refused to drink her wine and asked to drink mine.

Shortly afterward, Sam went back into the kitchen and was standing behind a raised bar so that we could not see what his hands were doing on the counter. Sam then said to Britney, “let’s go upstairs,” and Britney followed him. Britney had calmed down by the time she went upstairs.

A little while later, Britney came downstairs. She seemed agitated again and told us that she wanted to go to Rite Aid for lipsticks. It was now past midnight. Jackie and I said we would take her. Sam told us that he wanted to follow us in his car. We told him that he shouldn’t because the paparazzi were in front of the neighbor’s house and would harass us. As were were about to drive off, Sam jumped into the bask seat of the car. The paparazzi followed. Sam and I were sitting in the back seat, with Chad as well. He told me that he gave Britney something (when they were upstairs) to make her more light-hearted, happy, and fun. We entered Rite Aid and Britney chose her lipstick. The manager said it is dangerous out there, which it was. When Britney gave the cashier her credit card, the cahsier told her it was not working. I paid for the lipstick and the manager told us we could leave through the side door so no one could see us. Sam insisted we leave through the front door and he put his arms around Britney and me for the paparazzi to take photos. I disengaged as quickly as I could.

Sam told me,” You’d better learn that I control everything. I control Howard Grossman, Britney’s business manger. I control her attorney's and the security guards at the gate. They don’t listen to Britney, they listen to me. That’s why Jamie was gone tonight.”

At another point in the evening, Sam bragged to me that he is the one who receives Britney's checks and that one of them was for me. I told Sam that I hadn't gotten any checks from Britney. Sam then told me that they are in his car. He told me that if he weren't in the house to give Britney her medicine, she would kill herself. Then he said to me "If you try to get rid of me, she'll be dead and I'll piss on her grave."

He then proclaimed that he has been in the family for a year and that he had one nothing but good for Britney. At this point, it was two or three in the morning. Britney was meandering around the house. She would let me hug her, but she was out of it.

At one point during the night, Sam was screaming at me and Britney said to me, “Sam treats me like that.” Then she picked up the house phone and said, “Look at the phone, it doesn’t work.” Sam then blamed the dead phone on Britney. Jackie spoke up and said to Sam, “You said you cut down the phone wire.”

Britney then said again at some point during the night, “When do I get to see my babies?” Sam answered, “Wednesday. “ Britney then said, “What do I have to do to see them?” Sam responded, “Take the pills I tell you to take.” Britney said, “I don’t like the pills and I don’t like the psychiatrist. Can’t I see another psychiatrist so I can see my babies?” Sam responded, “If I told you to take 10 pills a day, you should do what I tell you to see your babies.” Jackie then said, “Britney, your parents can help you find a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist needs to get to know you to give you the right medicine.” Sam then raised his voice and said, “Why don’t you get back with Kevin.”

Britney then said, “I’ll do anything to get them back.”

At some point during the evening, Sam said that Britney decided that he should be her manager.

Adnan has called me and told me he’s worried about Britney. He told me that Sam hides the phones and tells her he has lost them. He also hides her dog, London. She looks for him all over the house crying and then Sam brings the dog from the hiding place and acts like her savior.

While we were at Rite Aid, Britney went in and out of her British accent.

At 4 a.m., I was exhausted and wanted to leave. Sam blocked my car so I could not leave. I threatened to call Jamie on the phone.

Britney said, “I want my Daddy up here. I want to talk to my Daddy.” I reached Jamie on the phone and gave the phone to Britney. I heard her tell him that she wanted to see him. He said, “right now baby?” and she said, “no.” He said, “10:00 in the morning?” and she said, “no, noon.”

I spent the rest of the night at Britney’s house and for the first time in a very long time, when I lay down to sleep, I felt very agitated. I could not fall asleep at all. I felt like I had had coffee. Jackie, who had gone home earlier, later told me that she also could not sleep at all, and felt like she had had coffee.

Jamie came to pick me up the next morning. Jamie gave Britney a big hug and said to her, “baby, you’re OK?” Britney said, “I’m fine,” then burst into tears.

“To my knowledge, Britney never went to sleep that night and was very agitated for most of the night.

Sam and Chad, however, slept in the “smoking room,” a small room downstairs on the first floor of the house.

Later the next day, on January 29, Jackie showed me a text message she had received from Sam: “Thanks for telling Jamie all your bulls**t. He just hit me. Now you guys did your deed. Much accomplished. Good job.

I did not see Britney again until I arrived at her house on Wednesday night after Sam called me and told me to come to the house. When we arrived, Britney seemed subdued. The police arrived and took her to the Neuro Psychiatric Institute at UCLA (“NPI”). While at NPI, I l earned that Britney informed her doctor, Lee Sadja, MD, that she had also taken Aderol.

I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing is true and correct. Executed on January 31, 2008 at Los Angeles, California.

The Wine Rack

This woman really loves her wine. How bad do you need a glass of wine to use one of these.

John Mayers bathing suit on a cruise